makes marriage vows As false as dicer’s oaths;

Marriage vows seem much more aspirational than true. Everyone who says them wants them to be so (probably) and they MEAN them to be forever but the person who makes a marriage vow is not the same person 7 years later, for example. Most of the cells in a body will have completely turned over from when you said, “I will love you forever” to when you struggle to remember how, 7 years in.
No one MEANS for them to be false. Though, certainly it is as much of a gamble as what the dicers do.
The strangest vows are the ones that are not promises of feeling and eternal love but the ones that set out promises of behaviors or hopes for the future. My favorite vow was made by a dear friend to her (already) husband at their (Third) wedding. She said something like, “I don’t promise to never break something that is precious to you.” – a clear reference to some beloved object that had broken earlier in their relationship. The oath went on, though, to promise a compassionate and loving response to the anger that such a thing will inevitably trigger. It is more intention than vow, I suppose – but sets nice groundwork for that future moment when they are both standing over some broken things and afraid that the broke thing might break more than the thing.

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