Maybe ambassadors get paid by the foreign powers they serve? Like – he travels to places delivering the news of favors performed by his government and the kings of those places nod and say “Thanks so much” and hand over a sack of money. Maybe that’s why this English ambassador is behaving so insensitively – because he’s worried he won’t get paid now that the king is dead. He’s wondering where to get his thanks because he’s wondering how he’s going to feed his kids.

Maybe. Probably not. That would be a super weird way to do it.

The ambassador from England is kind of a dick. I mean. He turns up and there’s a room full of dead bodies and he’s worried about his affairs?

I mean. You’re looking at three bleeding bodies and one poisoned queen and you’re looking for thanks for the decapitation of two people?

Aren’t ambassadors supposed to be good at international relations?

The English Ambassador is not.

And now, another episode of:

The Unnecessary Dramaturg

We open in the dramaturg’s office.

He’s got an office. It’s not clear why.

Also, it’s a he, of course.

Shakespeare is sitting across from the Dramaturg.

DRAMATURG: Listen, Billy, we’re almost there. I’ve only got a couple of notes here for the end of the play. And the first is, why, in the last few minutes of the play are you introducing a whole new character? I mean, the theatre doesn’t have an endless budget for actors and the audience doesn’t need to meet anyone new at this point. Hamlet has died, after all. He’s the guy we care about. What do we need this First Ambassador for? And why is he the First Ambassador when there appears to be no Second? It’s a lot to ask of the audience this late in the game, Bill. Whole new character? You can’t have Fortinbras bring in a letter with the news of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern’s execution? Or, actually – do we need to know about any of that? It all feels gratuitous, doesn’t it? Or maybe it’s just me. It could be just me.