For everything is sealed and done That else leans on the affair.

And by sealed and done he means that he’s already got that execution notice written up and sealed up and ready to go. Here it is.
I bet that was very satisfying for Claudius – let me just go ahead and write up this death sentence here so when I finally get my pesky nephew on a boat to England, I can get this shit DONE!
He probably feels like Hamlet’s already dead because he’s already sealed the documents. I was listening to a podcast about the Death Penalty in my country and how people around the world have become involved in abolishing it. And partly, I cannot believe we still have such a practice. And I learned from the podcast that it was abolished by the Supreme Court in 1972. Which was the year before I was born. So I was likely conceived in a year WITHOUT the death penalty and by the time I was born, it was a world where the people of my country successfully agitated for its reinstatement. So my government is no better than the (fictional) King of Denmark hundreds of years ago.

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Away!

Everyone in this coffee shop is at least 10 years younger than me. And they also probably make 10 times the money I make. I feel like I like one or the other – I like young people as much as anyone. I like rich people as much as anyone. But the two together is a little hard to take. I’m not sure I prepared for this particular experience of life. I prepared to be poor. I prepared to be older. But there is no preparation for the extremely moneyed privileged entitled youth.

New York didn’t used to be so much like this. I think of Penny Arcade’s bit about young people in NYC now. She rants about how young people in NYC know about WINE. That young people shouldn’t know about wine. They should be living in lofts, drinking cheap beer. But no. They know about wine.

I’ll have him hence tonight.

I don’t fantasize about being a queen or king generally. It seems like quite a big burden to carry rather than a series of perks. However, the power to just send someone away without question or discussion – well, that’s a perk I could envy.
You just go, “I’ll have him hence tonight.” And voila – he’s hence. Tonight.
Now, of course you can’t go abusing this power. If you send everyone away who displeases you, you’ll end up with rebellion eventually. But used judiciously? Oh yes – the sweet sweet power to send people away.

Delay it not.

There’s a conversation I really should have. I don’t want to. But it has been coming for over a year. It has been put off and put off and every day that passes that I don’t have the conversation, it feels like another failure. Then I come to write and this line seems to be yet another message, telling me to postpone no more.

Tempt him with speed aboard.

Hmm. Speed’s not so tempting. He’s trying to find ways for these guys to get him on board quickly..and he can’t just say, “Hurry him on to that boat.” He’s trying to hurry Hamlet on board without making it seem like he’s hurrying him.
Yeah – how do we get him on board that boat fast and also make it SEEM like it was his idea to get on board fast – not that he was compelled to get on board fast.

Follow him at foot.

Oh the difference a preposition can make! If it were follow him “on foot,” I’d just nod along and go, “Sure, yeah. On foot.” But it’s not on foot. And on foot wouldn’t make a lot of sense either (despite what one note I read suggested.) I mean, Hamlet just walked out seconds ago. What else would someone following him be using to follow him at this point? I mean…they’re not hopping on hover boards or broomsticks, are they? On foot is the most sensible, efficient way to follow someone in this situation. At foot, though might imply a distance. That is, it might be suggesting the followers follow him closely, that they should be a foot behind him at all times. It qualifies the following in an interesting and useful way – whereas “ON foot” would just be redundant. And the difference between “at” and “on” suddenly becomes interesting despite the notes on Genius which attempt to make “AT” mean “On.”

Thy loving father, Hamlet.

It’s like Claudius went to the step-parent school and took all the classes in “How to Be a REAL Tool of a Step-Parent.”
The teachers meant the classes to be ironic but Claudius took notes and took them very seriously. And then, of course, took them ever further by plotting to kill his stepson.
Step-Parent of the Year, King Claudius!

So is it, if thou knewest our purposes.

What IS he trying to say here? I mean…he’s trying to imply that the purposes underneath are in Hamlet’s interests and altruistic. But we know (and Hamlet probably knows too) that his purposes are in no way in Hamlet’s interest. So it’s funny to bring up the underlying motives – given how dark those motives actually are. But I guess this is a standard practice in lies…you try to deflect from the lie by stating the direct opposite of the lie…which has a funny way of pointing at the lie. It is tricky business being a villain.

Ay, Hamlet.

It is amazing how much this play runs through the culture. There are references to it all throughout literature, through film. It pops up everywhere. I’m reading Ulysses now – and hardly a page goes by without a reference to Hamlet. I can’t imagine what it would be like to read that novel without my Hamlet goggles on. Surely many people DO read it without Hamlet goggles on but because the lines are so familiar to me, I cannot miss how threaded through it all is. If I had a penny for every reference to Hamlet I caught, I’d have a pretty good piggy bank of pennies by the end.

Ulysses references many other things as well. The Odyssey, for example. Or Walt Whitman – but I don’t catch all of them. And with the Odyssey – because there’s a difference in languages of origin, there aren’t quite so many direct text references. There couldn’t be.

The bark is ready and the wind at help, Th’associates tend, and everything is bent For England.

I haven’t had a band in a while but if I were to start one I’d call them Th’associates. I mean. Wow. Who are th’associates? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern? The sailors? It’s a very formal and weird way to say, “We’ve got some people to go with you.
Th’associates.”
I would NOT like to be The Associates. Partly because there has surely previously BEEN a band called The Associates and partly because it sounds CORPORATE in this day and age. But – Th’associates? So good. I mean. Not so good for people knowing how to say it – because I have seen many a person flummoxed by contractions like this. But…if we didn’t care…
Ladies and Gentlemen – Please Welcome to the Stage, Th’associates.