I’ve had it with modesty.
No one is ever concerned with men’s modesty.
It is always always a woman’s “virtue.”
Fuck fucking modesty.
Or if we’re going to have it – if it is something we’re going to value,
Then we’re going to have to think about how men are going to exhibit modesty.
Keep your legs together, gentlemen, at all costs. You don’t want to send the wrong message.
Don’t talk too loudly or laugh at volume.
Keep your voices soft and pleasant.
Are you used to sharing your opinions?
It’s time to pull those back. Modesty means offending no one
And opinions are risky that way.
In fact, to be safe, only speak when spoken to.
That’s the most modest way.
Don’t let any flesh be exposed.
I mean, sure, your face and neck, ears
Maybe your hands are going to have to be seen
But no more ankles. No more calves –
You will have to cease wearing those revealing shorts and t-shirts.
What are you trying to do when you show us all that flesh?
Modesty, gentlemen, is a virtue.
The less we see of you
The less we hear of you