What have I done that thou darest wag thy tongue In noise so rude against me?

This is the wrong question, Gertrude.
The question is: “Why are you being such a rude asshole to me?”
And the difference in this second question is – you’re not victim blaming yourself.
He’s being a dick and you’re asking what you did to make him behave this way.
This is how people end up in abusive relationships.
They ask, “What did I do that made him hit me?”
You didn’t do anything.
He made a choice. A bad choice, by the way. It is not your fault.
Even if it was –
Even if you did kill your husband (Which, it’s actually pretty clear you didn’t) you still don’t need to blame yourself for someone else being a dick to you.
I’m only telling you this, Gertrude, because I have done the very same thing. I have wondered what I did to encourage someone’s shitty treatment of me. But I can see from this angle that that’s baloney. I had to learn to blame other people sometimes. Everything was not my fault.
I had to learn to ask another way. I’m still learning how to ask better questions. We’ll learn this one together, Gertrude.


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