I’m lost in it, my lord.

I have just come from my third eye doctor this year. (Ha. Third Eye Doctor sounds like someone who is looking after my third eye rather than the third doctor I’ve seen for my eyes.) The first doctor I saw back in July proclaimed my eyes the picture of health and put me in progressive lenses that made me want to puke. Five months later, I saw a more specialized eye doctor who marveled at the depths of my suppressions, who proclaimed my convergence insufficiency quite entrenched. And now this third eye doctor who tells me my convergence insufficiency is compensated and that given that I’ve gone all these many decades without a problem, I may not need to treat it at all, though if I were his wife, he’d have me do the vision therapy.
I’ve had people suggest that the headaches and migraines that have plagued me this year were eye related and some say yes, others say no. The most recent doc says if I don’t get headaches after reading it’s not eye related.
The world of the body is complex and confusing. What is muscular? What is chemical? My migraine medication is an anti-depressant and works like a magical charm. What is the cause? What is the effect? The eyes, when disturbed, make me want to throw up or give me a headache – but most of the time, they’re just doing their best. What is what?? And how to proceed?

And since I wrote this a couple of years ago, I have since seen a fourth and fifth eye doctor (though they were at the same center) and I have had Vision Therapy and had my eyes thoroughly re-educated. At my last check up they told me I was good to go.

My vision is a lot more coherent and it’s cool that I learned how to see double. I still get the migraines though. They’re a LOT better but they probably weren’t eye related. More like hormones and blood vessels. Still lost in it.


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