I read this book about Time orientations – the author talked about how people’s relationship to time plays such a huge role in their lives and personality. He breaks it down to being Future, Present or Past Oriented, with varying qualities within them. I have come to see that I am pretty squarely in a Present Orientation. I do not enjoy planning for things. I will. I can. But – I do not relish it. Even for pleasurable activities. I’m very good at staying in the moment, finding ways to handle the right now.
Occasionally, the future perspective kicks in – and I get a sudden panic of a future I haven’t been thinking about.
This morning in the shower, I suddenly wondered what my life would be like when I got back from my vacation to Greece. As if I had no say in the matter. One part of me asked the other part, “What wilt thou do?” The funniest thing about that wondering/panic was that I hadn’t thought of it once in the last month. I just proceeded, just got on with things, worked slowly toward other goals with the small manageable steps that I have developed to keep myself moving future-wise despite my future blindness. Because the future always shows up whether you saw it coming or not.