But, orderly to end where I begun, Our wills and fates do so contrary run That our devices still are overthrown.

Ain’t it the truth?
It took some time for me to work this out. In my early years, my will was pretty much in line with my fate. I thought I’d get almost anything I set my mind to – because I would manage 9 out of 10 things I set myself to. I auditioned for shows and got in to every one. I may have lost the Shakespeare competition at the Regional level but I got into Governor’s School so, no big deal. I got into the college of my choice. I won contests and got good grades. Okay, so I wasn’t able to find a find a boyfriend and I was woefully inexperienced in relationships – but I wasn’t WORKING at the those things. . . so of course!
But – time is a great teacher and I failed to achieve MANY of the things I’ve attempted since my youthful achievements. The ratio for success used to be 9 out of 10 and now it’s more like 1 out of 10. It was reversed.
But then, my ambitions are greater, my goals less in reach. The odds are longer. And fate will do what it will do.
I do have a boyfriend now, though, that’s something. And I didn’t even WILL it to be so.

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