Go thy ways to a nunnery.

And why have you come to join us today, Sister Ophelia? What compelled you to walk all the way here and bang upon our front door?

My boyfriend told me to.

Really?

He told me twice and then a third, fourth and fifth time, as well.

Your boyfriend told you to go join a Holy order and so you did.

Yes. He said this was the only way to avoid being a breeder of simmers. So, I decided to join up.

And are you in the habit of doing exactly as you’re told, Sister Ophelia?

Yes, actually. I mean this suggestion seemed a little unusual but I figured either Hamlet was crazy or he really thought this was a good idea. I didn’t like to think for him as crazy so I came here.

Well – happily, you’ve come to a place where doing what you’re told will get you quite far. We imagine you’ll have every success here. And perhaps eventually you might get so good at it that you might begin to tell others what to do as well.

You’ll take me then?

Certainly. I mean, we prefer for women to choose this life of their own desire but as long as you feel like you can submit to the will of God, I think you’ll be just fine.

Great.

And who knows, we may have just saved your sweet obedient little life, Sister Ophelia. Come on in.

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