Sometimes, in performances of Shakespeare, there is an excessive amount of thrusting of pelvises. It is many an actor’s way to show an audience that he is telling a dirty joke. I wouldn’t want Hamlet to thrust his pelvis on this line. Let me just state that upfront.
But I picture Rosencrantz and Guildenstern thrusting into their job – like, humping this letter or Claudius.
Hamlet
And what to this was sequent Thou know’st already.
The best possible way to say “And you know what happened next.”
Now, the next day Was our sea-fight.
It would be funny if the sea-fight were not a surprise attack by pirates but an event planned and scheduled into the voyage like shuffleboard games on a cruise ship. Like – Monday is the cabaret.
Tuesday is water sports in the ship’s pool and Wednesday is our sea-fight.
Thursday is Taco Night and Friday is the dance.
I’m picturing it all written on one of those school calendars with cheesy clip art scattered here and there and it makes me laugh. I picture Hamlet drawing pirate hats and swords surrounding Sea Fight Wednesday.
I also want him to really have planned it.
Folded the writ up in form of the other, Subscribed it, gave’t the impression, placed it safely, The changeling never known.
I like the fact that there is a special folding technique for this writ.
It’s like Hamlet has to do a kind of bureaucratic origami in order to really disguise it. The king’s seal – sure.
The right address – okay.
But the folding!
The folding.
I had my father’s signet in my purse Which was the model of that Danish Seal.
Now – I know that when Hamlet says purse, he probably means a tiny little drawstring bag to keep money in. It’s the sort of bag one could tie to one’s self, I expect. But I would love to see a Hamlet with a purse in the way that we think of it now – like a handbag or a pocketbook (as my grandmother would have called it). A Hamlet with a (modern) purse would be a very interesting Hamlet.
But just writing this now, writing all the words for a bag that women carry, I’m struck by how each of them has come to have a layer of condescension over it. The bags women carry inevitably seem to absorb quite a bit of misogyny in the journey. I think this is why, even when I carried a purse, I was wary of calling it one. But here’s Hamlet talking merrily of keeping his father’s ring in his without the slightest suggestion of embarrassment.
Also, let’s think about pocketbook for a second. I mean – why does pocketbook sound like a joke? Because older ladies say it? It’s two great things in one. Pockets! And books! And pockets are extremely political. The choice to leave pockets out of women’s clothes? Sexist as hell.
Anyway – that’s maybe why I want to see a Hamlet with a modern purse – because I’d like to reclaim purse for all of us.
Why, even in that was heaven ordinant.
Sure, yes, heaven sometimes seems to organize things in an orderly fashion. It sure feels like magic when things line up in extraordinary serendipity.
But serendipitous moments are pretty rare. Most of the time, our lives are pretty messy. Most of the time, the gods seem to be organizing the earth the way a teenager organizes his bedroom – that is, barely.
I picture a god just tossing an idea in a corner when he’s done with it and being surprised when he discovers it again buried under a t-shirt.
An earnest conjuration from the King, As England was his faithful tributary, As love between them like the palm might flourish, As peace should stiff her wheaten garland wear And stand a comma ‘tween their amities, And many such-like As’es of great charge, That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow’d.
Hamlet does do a good job of imitating Claudius at his wordy best. Though this commission is actually a lot more straight forward than most of Claudius’ political speechifying. The as’es are hilarious – of greater importance the more there are, of course – but they are actually pretty clear. England better kill those message bearers because of X, Y, and Z. As, as, as.
Also – I love the little hints at the history between those countries – how at odds and how tenuously at peace they were.
Wilt thou know The effect of what I wrote?
I write all the time. Every day. It is my practice. And I share it, too. Most of the time, there’s no response at all. I “publish” something and nothing changes. I don’t actually know if anyone’s read what I set down. Recently, a comment here on this blog made me realize that at least one person was actually reading it and paying attention and thinking about what they found. I was shocked to see this small thing making an effect on someone.
I am pleased to be read and received. I am pleased with my words making an emotional impact on someone or making them think.
But it is really something to imagine that one’s words could have the power to kill the way Hamlet’s rewritten commission does. I wouldn’t want such a power but it is QUITE a strong effect.
I once did hold it, as our statists do, A baseness to write fair and labour’d much How to forget that learning, but, sir, now It did me yeoman’s service.
This is much more complicated than its face value. I mean, it’s very simple on one level: he tried to forget how to write like a bureaucrat but it was helpful in this instance. Very simple. But also complicated!
What is this reference to statists? Is he using it as it’s used now? Is it a dig at Claudius? Or some other oppressive government? He does not see himself as a part of the statists but shared a belief with them. So I have questions about that. And forgetting this learning makes me wonder how or why he learned it. Was there legitimately some training in that writing style? I was joking about it in the previous post but now I’m not so sure there wasn’t some. Where did he unlearn this style? At Wittenberg? And what made him try to unlearn it? This makes me wonder the exact trajectory of Hamlet’s education and how much of it was related to his royal duties and how much was his own interest.
I sat me down Devised a new commission, wrote it fair.
He probably really knows how to do this. Probably there’s a whole course in royal training school where they teach you how to write commissions. You don’t need to learn to write essays or read novels but you will need to learn to write commissions and other such royal decrees. Proclamations are their own workshop.
Royal Syllabus:
In this course, we will learn to write commissions, decrees and missives. Pre-requisites include: Proclamations, Handwriting, Seals and Posture.
The Hamlet Project 