It is unfortunate that so many of us can only see through the images of our own causes. It’s like we’re all wearing lenses that filter out anything that is not our experience. The self-oriented glasses reframe everything to ourselves.
It is a tremendous obstacle when trying to teach empathy. Why care about someone who is different from you, who has different life experience?
Hamlet shouldn’t have to have an epiphany that Laertes’ experience is like his. It would be great if he could recognize Laertes’ grief for Ophelia separate from his own. But in the moment, he can’t. So he has to backtrack to understand how Laertes’ situation is so like his.