I bought an unction of a mountebank, So mortal that, but dip a knife in it, Where it draws blood no cataplasm so rare, Collected from all simple that have virtue Under the moon, can save the thing from death That is but scratch’d withal:

Laertes! What ARE you doing buying such a fatal unction? Didn’t your father teach you better than that? Doesn’t seem particularly honorable to go around poisoning people (or animals or anything) with a deadly potion. You know who kills people with poison in plays like this? Villains, that’s who.
Did you set out to be a villain?
And you bought it from a mountebank?!
Is that a reputable source for deadly substances?
At least go to an apothecary! That’s what Romeo did.
I mean – it doesn’t turn out so well for him – but at least he bought his death-giving stuff from a guy with a reputation! I don’t know, Laertes, this was a particularly shady move. Sometimes, when I watch the play, I feel kind of bad for you, like, you didn’t really deserve to get caught up in this tragic melee – like maybe you SHOULD have been king. But then I think about THIS decision and I think…yeah, that getting hoisted with your own petard thing ain’t so unjust, now that I think it through.

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