A king of shreds and patches –

My boyfriend was laughing with abandon in the other room. I had to go in and see what had caused him to laugh so much. (He’s not quick to laugh.)

I found him watching Shredding videos. I had never seen nor heard of these before but they are a thing. Shreds are the video of great musical acts with hilariously bad audio that matches the video. Instead of Robert Plant singing or keening, you get him sounding like an alien muppet. Instead of John Oates’ dulcet tones accompanying a soul Daryl Hall – you get a Simpson-esque Harry Shearer-ish Hodor accompanying a breathing high school voice – and the predominant sound of Daryl Hall hitting his mic stand. In a shred, Keith Jarrett plays plinky plunky piano sounds instead of complex jazz. Shreds are very silly. And particularly funny to musicians.

So I picture Claudius as a King of Shreds. Either a guy who sits in a basement creating those videos – or singing something in a band himself, getting dozens of shreds on his video because he is so fun to re-record and make fun of.


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