The café I’m in is full of small clusters of high school students (or possibly community college students who are often hard to distinguish from high schoolers.) One cluster is three boys and two girls. Both clusters seem to be spending the bulk of their time and energy in taunting the girls. There have been multiple jokes about rape – and not just rape in general but specifically about raping those particular girls. It would seem that signing up to hang with these kids means signing up for teaching and taunting in the worst way – either as a giver or a receiver.
I can see now why I avoided both crowds and boys as a young person. There’s no escaping the misogyny – the only way to belong is to find these sorts of shenanigans amusing. And not only do I not find them amusing now, I did not find them amusing then. I couldn’t even pretend to laugh at stuff like this – I have no idea where one even finds the will to stay in such a crowd.