Sir, I lack advancement.

You and me both, Hamlet. You and me both.
For years, I searched for what it was that must be wrong with me that kept me from progress. Then I realized that the system was rigged and that no amount of positive thinking would fix it. Shifting the language around this is key – for example, saying I lack advancement is a lot less self-defeating than “I’m not as successful as I’d like to be.” Or “I’ve failed.” I lack advancement in the way that I lack a certain amount of privilege. It’s not something that’s wrong with me – just something that I don’t have in possession. It’s like not having a car. The car isn’t a part of me that’s missing – it’s a thing I don’t have. Would having a car be helpful in getting me where I’d like to go? Absolutely. Same as advancement.
Shifting things to an outside focus means that I can skip the self-flagellation and get about the business of tracking down the things I need – like a car and advancement. Except I don’t really need a car.


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