If not, your pardon and my return shall be the end of my business.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my name’s Mr. Guildenstern and I’ll be your substitute teacher today. I hope that you’ll give me the respect and good behavior that you usually give to your teacher, Mr. Pahlinus.

Oh, excuse me, yes, Mr. Polonius. Now – I’ve got several worksheets to hand out to the class – I don’t expect to have any trouble but if there is, I have the authority to send any of you to the office that give me reason. Okay? Are we going to be okay?

Now see. That’s the kind of thing that is not a good idea. I don’t like to see that sort of thing. Do you think that’s the way to behave? No, no, I’m not going to send you to the office for that. Of course, you didn’t mean it, I understand. Just. . .don’t do it again – okay?

Now if everybody could just quietly fill in your worksheets while I take the attendance then we can all have a peaceful class. Yes? It’s GUILD-en-stern. Mr. GUILD-en-stern. That’s right. Like a guild. Do you know what a guild is? No, no, of course. No. Just fill in your worksheets, alright everybody? Settle down. Settle down. It’s time to settle down.

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