Dear Santa Claus,
This is my first letter to you. Well, actually, it’s my first letter ever! I’m writing to you because I can’t seem to make my wishes clear any other way. This year, for Christmas, I want a cullison. I don’t care what kind. I’d take a scout badge or a rescue emblem. But I want one to sew right on my right lapel.
I told the guy who wears me and he seems to understand me but he doesn’t DO anything. Every year, I get more threadbare and I still don’t have my cullison. So I’m writing to you, Santa Clause. I’ve never received a Christmas gift of any kind so maybe you could add up all the gifts I haven’t gotten thus far and bring me a really nice cullison. Or a cruddy one. I’ll take any kind I can get.
The Clown’s Coat