In my youth, it was hard for me to work out my own inclinations.
I was inclined to follow the inclinations of others. In matters of not much significance, I could reliably just go along with whomever had a strong preference because my preference was stronger for togetherness with them than for pancakes. Sometimes I didn’t have a sense that I might want pancakes.
Or, I could be with someone who wanted a walk in the park and found that I, too, wanted a walk in the park but could never be sure if it was me who wanted the walk in the park or just wanted to go along with the park walks. It was a matter of some confusion for some time. I had to learn how to go inside myself to see what my won inclinings might be. I trained myself to understand that I might have a desire of my own, separate from someone else.