And yet ‘tis almost ‘gainst my conscience.

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It’s the almost that gets him.

It is ALMOST against his conscience.
If it were ACTUALLY against his conscience, he’d switch out his poisoned bated sword and forget the whole plan.

But it is only ALMOST against his conscience. He’s hedging. He’s close to making the switch. But he’s also not listening. Claudius has said “I do not think’t.” He has an out. His king is (possibly) expressing a hesitation which would give him leave to extract himself, from this mess. But instead he has this ALMOST moment, ALMOST a conscience, ALMOST a moral question.

I do not think’t.

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This is a peculiar line. It suggests to me that Claudius isn’t entirely sure what to do anymore. His plans are unraveling and he can’t be as directive as he usually is. He’s hesitating, I think. He doesn’t think Laertes should hit him now? He doesn’t think it, he says.  It might not even be a full sentence. I do not think’t – but Laertes is off, already talking to himself, revealing that they are both beginning to question this plan.

If Claudius wanted Laertes to definitely not hit Hamlet, he could say, “No. Abort. Abort.” Or something to that effect. He’s a king; he knows how to give orders. He’s done this sort of thing in public before. He could have them give o’er the game and call for lights. But he just manages to get out, “I do not think’t” – which Laertes either does not hear or interprets to mean “Yes, he should stick Hamlet with a sword now.”

My lord, I’ll hit him now.

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Has Laertes realized that the shit is about to hit the fan? Did he clock that Gertrude has just drunk poison?  Does he know what’s about to happen to her or was he somehow busy with between round adjustments? He knows Claudius was going to poison Hamlet’s drink so theoretically he knows that chaos is about to break out. If he wants to kill Hamlet, it has to happen quickly. He needs to get it done before he loses the chance. It explains why he steps out of the bounds of the game to do it. Perhaps questioning his conscience makes him all the fiercer and more determined.

Come, let me wipe thy face.

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Such a mama, such a mom, such a mother moment. Here’s Hamlet, sweaty from the fight – she’s given him her “napkin” already but still, he has not wiped his face to her satisfaction.

Some Hamlets will acquiesce to this moment easily, even eagerly – happy to receive an affectionate face wipe from his mother. Others will resist – just the way almost every teen squirms under the moist thumb of his mother.

What happens here depends a lot on the Hamlet and a lot on the Gertrude and whatever relationship they have forged through the rest of the play.

It is too late.

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Is it though? I mean. Presumably – she’s just taken a drink. Couldn’t she just spit it out? Couldn’t he give her something to help her puke it up? I mean. It’s clear it’s a pretty fast acting poison – but she probably hasn’t even swallowed yet at the point it’s too late.

Granted, it would be hard for Claudius  to do anything at this point without making a scene. It is not a surprise to realize that Claudius cares more about protecting himself and/or making a scene than saving his wife’s life – but it does feel important to recognize that that is probably the choice he’s making.

It is the poison’d cup.

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I can imagine a production wherein this is not an aside – but spoken to a co-conspirator. He could say it to Laertes, for example. Or to Osric – if Osric is in on it. Or just some minion he’s brought into his confidence. If spoken to someone, the line takes on an urgency that the fact stated as an aisde lacks. If he says it to someone, he may still hope that someone can do something about it. And then it is too late. There’s a sort of implied hope in this first sentence of the line if spoken to someone. Not hope, exactly – just, it’s not too late yet. And then it is.

The right actor could probably imbue the line with this even without saying it to someone else. He could be attempting to tell himself to do something, you fool. And then – welp- she’s drunk it, it is too late.

It’s kind of a funny line. We all know it’s the poisoned cup. Laertes knows, too. But perhaps Shakespeare is just making sure that anyone who slept through or was talking during these bits before now gets that Gertrude is about to drink some deadly poison.

I pray you, pardon me.

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Note that formal “you” sneaking in there like that. If she weren’t about to be dead, Claudius would have some relationship stuff to work out later. Did it just get real cold in here? She may be saying “pardon me” but she’s probably really meaning “pardon you, you bossy bastard.”

But.

In a few minutes, she will be dead. So – Claudius has, at least, avoided a relationship chat later in the night, and he’s only got a few more minutes than she does so….it’s too late for pardons for all of them.

I will, my lord.

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I love that Gertrude’s last act is one of defiance. It’s a good way to end – by not doing as you’re told. I mean, surely it would be better to live than die – but to die because you refused to do as you were told? Heroic death, in my view.

I just finished reading Miss Ellicott’s School for the Magically Minded (which I enjoyed very much, btw) and the girls in that book are all taught to be “shamefast and biddable.” Their deportment is more important than all their magical skill. Doing as one has been told, especially by a man, is the highest good in that world. And, of course, the heroine discovers her inner rebel. She sets aside all obedience and gets a lot done. It’s very satisfying. Also there’s a dragon.

Gertrude, do not drink.

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Don’t tell a queen not to do something.

It is not an effective way to get something done.

A queen is not inclined to obey.

A queen does as she pleases.

If you want her to do something, you have to be crafty, use your best wiles.

You’ll want to make her think it was her idea.

Don’t tell a queen no.

Don’t give a queen an order.
Don’t make a demand.

Claudius ought to have know this attempt would fail. He ought to have simply taken the cup from her or had a servant do so, for some more official toasting. He ought to have spilled it. He ought to have realized Gertrude would never obey.