I can’t believe there’s never been a hit rock band called Thieves of Mercy. I mean…that’s a band name that just SOUNDS like a hit. Like a metal band? Maybe metal isn’t so popular anymore though. I don’t know. I’d definitely name a band this though maybe not MY band – because the sort of music I make doesn’t really sound like Thieves of Mercy. But if I had a metal band…or a…I don’t know a hippie rock band? Anything that has a sort of subversive rebel quality. And long scraggly hair. And allows for geeky literary references.
Hamlet
So I alone became their prisoner.
I’m writing this at a bar/restaurant where I am eating and drinking by myself. The waiter brought two glasses of water because he just assumed, as a lady, that I had someone joining me. It is not a normal thing for a woman to go out at night on her own.
And then I think about this line. And if Hamlet was a woman. And how if Hamlet was a woman (not just played by a woman – but an actual woman) everyone would be pretty worried about her being the only prisoner on a pirate ship. A woman taken as the only prisoner becomes vulnerable in ways that we never worry about a man. Of course, a male prisoner could be raped as well. I’m sure it happens. And I’m sure it’s horrible. But there’s a way where a man being taken prisoner suggests a relatively simple relationship. He’s just been taken prisoner.
If a woman is taken prisoner…we just assume that she’s gonna get raped or at least sexually assaulted. And that is rape culture, still ticking away in all of us.
Even me, here, having a glass of cider and a rice bowl in a bar in Seattle. Am I asking for it? Of course not. But no woman ever is.
On the instant they got clear of our ship
This is the bit that makes me suspicious of this pirate fight. This line makes it sound as if the pirate ship was the captured one – that it was under siege and then got away. But wait – the “they” and the “our” become mixed up in this grapple.
Our ship is probably the pirate ship, because of Hamlet’s presence on it. They are probably the Danish ship folk. So – the thing that happens is that the Danish ship got clear of the Pirate ship, which Hamlet is on, by himself. So it’s not, as I previously imagined, that Hamlet gets on the pirate ship and the pirate ship just abandons its quarry, it’s that the Danish ship gets away and Hamlet is left on board the Pirate one.
I mean – maybe. Hamlet is certainly not being as clear as he can be in telling this story. I think there is likely good reason for this confusion.
Finding ourselves too slow of sail, we put on A compelled valor, and in the grapple I boarded Them:
You know things are bad on the boat you’re on when climbing on board a pirate ship seems like a good solution. I mean, pirates are not known for their fair and just treatment of stowaways. Or guys with swords who got on their ship to fight them? We don’t really know the circumstances.
But we do know that Hamlet is on a trip to England he doesn’t want to make with his “friends” who he knows are delivering his death warrant. There aren’t a whole lot of ways out of this situation. Jumping on a pirate ship seems rather reasonable in that case.
However, I find I am suspicious of these pirates who just happen to turn up and just happen to take only Hamlet prisoner. I mean. Hamlet’s crafty. He could have sent a message to the pirates that he’d give them a hefty bounty if they attacked his ship. I wouldn’t put it past him to set up this fortunate circumstance.
Ere we were two days old At sea, a pirate of very warlike appointment gave us Chase.
A pirate? Not a pirate ship.
Or SOME pirates. But A PIRATE.
We know, though, that it’s not just one – because he later calls them THEY. So.
UNLESS!
What if it were nongendered pirate?! How awesome would that be? A non gender binary pirate in war-like gear? A fierce bad-ass non-gender conforming pirate?
I know that there is a fun and exciting history of female pirates. Many women I know have found great inspiration and strength in the knowledge of their existence. It would be a pretty sweet bonus if there were also an ungendered pirate and they got a shout out in one of the great works in Western literature.
Horatio, when thou shalt have overlooked This, give these fellows some means to the King:
I know Horatio has to read this out loud for the benefit of the audience. We need to hear it to understand what happened to Hamlet. But the sailors don’t need to hear it. So it’s funny that he reads this aloud to them, especially since he probably suspects that it is from Hamlet and a level of secrecy is likely required. But he reads this to sailors who aren’t even sure of his name. It is an odd choice if you take the theatre factor out.
O, from this time forth, My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!
It is useful to have a guiding principle. I mean, if it’s blood – okay…maybe not the NICEST touchstone to have – but at least it’s clear. Is this thought bloody? No? It’s out. Next! How about this one?
It is a way to keep one’s self on task, I suppose.
I feel like I use art this way sometimes. Does this decision help my art? Yes? It’s in. Does it hurt it? Out. Art is my touchstone.
Blood becomes Hamlet’s – and even though he’s said this before, he does rather hold to it. He pretty much gets on a killing spree right after this speech. Sailors, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, a grapple with Laertes, a swordfight with Laertes, a sword through Claudius finally, before his own blood leaves him.
While, to my shame, I see The imminent death of twenty thousand men, That for a fantasy and trick of fame, Go to their graves like beds, fight for a plot Whereon the numbers cannot try the cause, Which is not tomb enough and continent To hide the slain?
I’ve seen this passage used as a critique of war, of militaristic thinking, but it’s ironic because – Hamlet’s not really saying twenty thousand men dying for no reason is wrong, he’s saying 20 thousand men dying for no reason shame him for his failure to commit a murder. It’s like the men dying for no reason are inevitable and just exist to make Hamlet feel bad for sending one more man to his grave. Hamlet wouldn’t necessarily do anything differently than Fortinbras here. He’s clearly convinced that Fortinbras is honorable and this dumb troop killing battle is somehow honorable as well.
It just points out, for him, that people dying for no reason are somehow more honorable than him.
But in any case the twenty thousand are definitely going to their graves like beds. It’s just a question of whether the numbered dead might have included Claudius, making the dead Twenty Thousand and One. Twenty thousand for no reason. One for a good reason.
How stand I then, That I have a father kill’d, a mother stain’d, Excitements of my reason and my blood, And let all sleep?
Yes. Self-talk at its finest.
Because it’s not like Hamlet’s been siting around doing nothing. He’s not kickin’ back playing video games, lying around staring at the ceiling or even reading. At almost every moment, he is trying to work out what to do and the best way to do it. He’s staged a play. He’s killed someone in trying to kill his target.
To me, it looks like Hamlet has been trying to get this revenge in a careful measured way for two thirds of the play and then ends up overly excited and kills the wrong guy. At which point, it’s not his sleeping that is preventing him from killing Claudius, it’s opportunity.
I’m sure Claudius has guarded both himself and Hamlet heavily. There is no way for him to do his father’s will under the current circumstances.
But of course that’s not what he says to himself. No, no…to himself, everything is his fault. And not due to circumstances at all, but some mortal character flaw.
And thousands of literary critics followed and wailed about his tragic flaw.
Rightly to be great Is not to stir without great argument, But greatly to find quarrel in a straw When honor’s at the stake.
Yeah. I don’t think this is right. I know this whole honor thing might have made sense in the 1500s – but now, in most situations, we don’t go in for this line of thinking. The only contemporary cultures that are particularly concerned with honor are closed, monocultural clusters. This is how you get Hatfields and McCoys. This is how you get Bloods and Crips. This is how young women get murdered by their families for having a young woman’s body and not submitting to shame. You can be murdered for desire in the name of some dude’s “honor.”
So when women’s bodies become as inconsequential as a piece of straw to fight over, I suggest that honor may be a dated concept that it is time to retire.
The Hamlet Project 