I embrace it freely.

Some people try very hard to resist their weirdness. They do everything they can think of to avoid letting anyone see their quirks and oddities. People will go see shows or concerts that they don’t want to see because they think other people will have expected them to see them. They will attempt to shape their bodies into forms that will more closely align them to an imagined norm. They will wear clothes that help them fit in. They will hide their thoughts, their eccentricities.

My weirdness? I embrace it freely. Not without cost, of course. I am not insensitive to the response that my weirdness can generate. But I embrace it anyway.

But till that time, I do receive your offer’d love like love, And I will not wrong it.

See, look at that boys, you can talk about love amongst yourselves! You don’t have to let the patriarchy suppress you! Look at this – Laertes talking about love – talking about Hamlet offering love and him receiving it – even though Hamlet didn’t even say anything about love just now.

I mean, sure, it’s all a bunch of bullshit because Laertes is actually about to kill him so he’s hella gonna wrong it – but talking about love is a step!

And will no reconcilement, Till by some elder masters, of known honor, I have a voice and precedent of peace, To keep my name ungored.

You know what these guys need?

Some legit elder masters.

I’m not sure where they could find some but that might make it a bit less chaotic in Denmark. Like – if there was a coherent system of justice instead of a complicated honor code and revenge killings.

If they had like, a right honorable justice or two, or three, floating around, maybe things wouldn’t go so horribly pear shaped there.

But in my terms of honor, I stand aloof.

I used to be a supportive laugher. I’d laugh to be polite. I’d laugh at any joke that I could tell had been an attempt to be a joke. If you wanted me to laugh – I’d do it – even if it wasn’t funny. Lots of people laugh like this. It’s a kind of socialized politeness that requires that we all pretend to find something funny.

I tend not to do this as much as I used to. I’m not saying I never do it. I do – especially  at cocktail parties and networking events.

When a person is in charge of a big organization, all their jokes are funny.  Ha! Ha! That’s so funny, sir!

But aside from when I’m trying to suck up to someone – I do it so much less than I used to. I’m much less likely to give a performer a polite laugh, for example. If they don’t earn it, they don’t get it. If it’s not funny, I’m not laughing.

This is mostly down to clown training – where we learn how potent failure is – how giving someone a polite laugh only prolongs their agony. They need to feel the joke die in order to move on from it. To not laugh, or rather to only laugh when they are genuinely funny is a kindness. To not laugh when something fails to be funny is a point of honor.

It is the clown’s honor code. That is why it seems as though I stand aloof sometimes. 

I am satisfied in nature, Whose motive, in this case, should stir me most To my revenge.

The use of “motive” is interesting here. I don’t know exactly to whom ”motive” belongs. To nature, it would seem. Nature’s motive SHOULD make him want to revenge himself but instead he is satisfied. It’s an artful qualifification, really. It’s a “yes” but it comes with a large caveat. It comes with – “Uh, sure, I accept your very public request for forgiveness, but I need you to recognize how thin this hair is – that nature is, to my mind, a lot closer to me and the opposite of forgiveness.”
Okay, but watch it.

Okay but you don’t deserve it.

Okay but it’s not natural.

Sir, in this audience, Let my disclaiming from a purposed evil Free me so far in your most generous thoughts, That I have shot mine arrow o’er the house And hurt my brother.

I love this shot my arrow over the house business but I also don’t fully understand it. It has the FEELING of an idiom but it is not known to be one as far as any notes I’ve read indicate.

It’s not terribly logical this shooting an arrow over the house. That may be part of the reason it has an idiomatic flavor.

Like – why would anyone shoot an arrow over the house? Is that something they do in archery practice?

And is he intentionally shooting the arrow over the house or was he aiming at the house and over shot?

I have questions, obviously. I mean – the hurting of his brother is obvious. Hamlet feels he’s hurt him accidentally. He couldn’t see where that arrow was going. He just fired it (over or at the house) and it hit Laertes. Whoops! Sorry man. Didn’t see you back there. 

His madness is poor Hamlet’s enemy.

There must be some good graphic novel version of this particular line of thought. Hamlet’s madness lying in wait for him until shortly after his father’s funeral (and his mother’s wedding) and then pouncing! Hamlet fights back, and in the process, loses many things. His madness takes him over and breaks up with Ophelia, kills her father and leaps into her grave to challenge her brother. Meanwhile, poor non-mad Hamlet cowers in a corner, bound and gagged. It’s not clear when mad Hamlet is banished and non-mad Hamlet is released.

His madness:

What would a cartoon of Hamlet’s madness look like? If his madness is thus personified, what is it like? Clearly, the picture that Hamlet is painting of this split self, this madness that took him over, features a madness who does terrible things. Is it a kind of devil? A mischievous Puck?

Is it a Richard the Third or an Edmund the Bastard? An Iago? Or an Aaron?

That is, is it a purposeful villain or an accidental wrong-doing sprite?

Madness, as it appears in other characters, seems to largely involve singing and rhyming. Not just in this play either.

I’m not sure how much singing actually happens in actual madness. The madness I’ve witnessed featured almost NO singing and the singing I’ve witnessed has tended to be in non-mad situations. I have sung TO the mad in attempts to soothe them – but the mad almost never sing back. The only exception that comes to mind was a woman in my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s unit. She sang pretty much anything she wanted to say. She didn’t sing songs so much as intone her desire, “Where is my pillow please?”

She also stripped off her top without warning with some regularity and attempted to eat her lunch topless. Personally, I’d have let her eat naked if it made her happy but they frown on that sort of thing in geriatric care units.
Anyway – that was her madness. It didn’t do people wrong so much as make her awkward to share a meal with.